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A little… Pizzazz… (or Not)

I just realized that pizza is right there in front of the word. I am laughin and also wondering why I am hungry so early in the morning!

And now, I’ve distracted myself and can’t remember what I was goin to go on about.

Such is life. It’ll come back to me at some point.

So another note: My face is being weird all of a sudden. Yesterday, I was replacing the front door deadbolt here at the Mill after replacing the flag bracket in the front when stuff started catching on my eye lashes. I had grease on my hands, So I kind just tried to brush it off with my wrist.

You guys.

When I got back and looked in the mirror, there was a huge patch of peeling skin…right there in the middle of my forehead! I am fairly consistent with my skincare, but have been a bit lacking in motivation for the last few days so I’ve just kinda thrown some water on my face and some leftover lotion from my hands and called it a day (you know, like most dudes would LOL). To be honest, I did too much the week previous and didn’t plan for my days away appropriately, hence, I am at the beginnings of a fibro flare and trying to stave off a spiral.

Even though I’m not feeling so hot, I did look back mentally at how these flares used to go. I say go because it was almost never-ending. My body was so out of control that I was constantly at about an 8 on the pain level scale. I was always in the spiral so it wasn’t even a thought on “Oh, I need to step back before this starts to turn”. I remember it being so bad… that I was deep in the fibro flare and right behind that the CFS was following. I was in so much pain that the least painful position was standing because only my feet touched the floor. My clothes hurt, my underwear hurt. The air moving across my skin– hurt. I was also so tired— the fatigue was so bad that it was not unusual for me to sleep 20/24 hours in a day. Now, something like a decade later, I have coping mechanisms that work. Enough medication to take the edge off on the daily. Exercise and nutrition in general are important to maintain as well (which I am getting to). In my immediate fatigue I let even the most simple of my coping mechanisms go so I really need to get back on the program

As for pizzazz, I think I was going to try to add some visual interest to the general layout here–but I don’t know what I want to do (yeah, I know. I say it a LOT). I don’t want gauche or gaudy, cause that would annoy me. This, just as an insight, is where my indecision stems from perfectionism.

OHH, you know what. I’ll try and work in here the results of the personality test I recently took. Since I am on a “Know thyself” journey— I figured I should probably start with how much I really know my own personality.

And let’s just say, I wasn’t surprised at all.

OHH. OHH. ANNNND…

Been getting things ready for the whole exercise restart and I’ll be posting on the program I decided to go with probably before the end of the week. I am excited and a little bit nervous. Nine months is a long time to not really do physical activity. Trying to ease into things but I just may fall on my face.

Wow, I’ve been typing for a little bit now, and I actually have errands to run today so toodles people who get this far 😀

Issa LorenLeave a comment

Cracked…

Send Help, but wait until I get through a contemplation first LOL

I am almost through my cup of coffee for the morning and I’ve been sitting here trying to pull a thread of what to jot down.

Not for lack of subject matter, but because there is a mountain of it before me.

What to choose?

I was also thinking yesterday (again) about how personal to make these posts? Relationally speaking, I mean. I think and process about the things I see around me and around the world. The issues I have been battling mentally is that of conversational timing. I could write my opinion here, where someone who knows me reads it, and then —

While its a conversation I could have, I probably haven’t yet with the person in question either because

1. We just not that close
2. It hasn’t been the right timing

Then again, I could be over-thinking things, which is not unusual.

Anyway, back to the purpose. My heels have cracked people. For the very first time in my life, they have cracked. I didn’t realize they were so dry as I am fairly consistent with the whole moisturizer thing. Then I was walking around the yard yesterday- tending to various aspects of the outside of The Mill, barefooted as per the norm- and my heels started burning!

They haven’t bled and the cracks don’t seem to be overly deep (though I have no idea how bad that can get– Im scared to look at pictures). Is Vaseline enough (cause that is what I already have)? Is there a particular product out there made specifically for this issue that actually works?

I don’t know that I’ll get any responses, so until I do… Vaseline it is!

Have a good Tuesday, Folks.

Issa LorenLeave a comment

Pre Planning the “comeback”

And because I have a jukebox of a brain, I now have the song “Don’t Call it a Comeback” rollin’ around up there in my head. AHH, such is life.


I think I said at the end of last week or over the weekend that I am using the first 10 of my next 100 day plan to actually get ready to jump back into physical fitness. A bit of background on that would be that last year, I was actually planning an international move to South Korea (yay! Love the country and the people–we go waaaay back to the 80’s) all the way into Mid-October before it all changed. The particulars of that story are definitely going to be addressed at some point but 2020 was gnarly on many fronts for me and picking through it should prove to be interesting.

Anyway, that is for another time and another blog posting.

Back into how I got to where I am right now. So October, not moving internationally, but have to now move as the lease for the house we were in was up in November. When situations this unknown slap ya in the face, things drop off, know what I mean? I am sure anyone reading this has some comprehension to some point of your life (and I’m willing to bet at least one of them also happened in 2020, because well…it was 2020). Physical fitness was it for me. It is not that I got lazy (which is not beyond the realm of possibility, but not applicable in this case), its just that I was way too busy.
As a side note, I also have fibromyalgia and what used to be called CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). CFS is called something else now, but I can never remember–M____ something or another. I should maintain some pretty strict activity boundaries to save myself future pain. This was not something I could regulate in that way though because of time constraints.

I also lost my medical team in this whole transition (not unusual in a regular PCS move–but this wasn’t to be a regular PCS move). Not just the team, but the parameters of insurance also changed (this will be ranted about in a future post—believe me—I am HHHHHOT on the subject). My heart decided it wanted to do weird things and so I was told by new medical team that until they could figure what was happening (It had already been determined that I had a hole in there, but worry was that it was larger)–no exercise.

I was doing somewhat well— gaining weight, sure, but not too badly. The thing about my body is that I am (or can become) what others would deem as “skinny fat”. I remain pretty steady on the weigh-scale–but my body fat starts to shoot up.
I am not particularly attached to exercise itself, but I also seem to have this impulse in my brain that is like, “You aren’t supposed to–but I’m sure you can a bit” so I picked up a mobility and flexibility program (cause– you know— aging)

Had to stop it all.

But now the heart docs say I can start up again. My body tells me I absolutely need to start up again. My Mind tells me “Where the heck do you start?”

Thought about it yesterday, and I think I should probably start again with the mobility and flex program–to rebuild a good foundation and so I don’t hurt myself in the future.

Then two weeks after that—I think I’ll start working in a toning program. Get the metabolism going. Start actually cooking my meals (I can count on two hands how many meals I’ve actually made here in The Kitchen @ The Mill).

I’ll try and figure out how to keep track of my measurements (Cause, lets face it, I’m not posting pictures for comparison on the internet LOL).

Be prepared for a lot of moaning and groaning—with some progress on the sides.

Anyone else out there getting ready to start (or re start) a healthy life journey? Are you making plans or just winging it?

Gonna finish my cup of coffee and try to get something done (probably won’t, but I’m tryin here folks!).

‘Til I share again!

Issa LorenLeave a comment

Not an app for that

You know how when you’re sitting around, or driving around, and an awesome idea pops into your head for no apparent reason. You think about it and think about it, knowing that it is something that could be utilized across existing media–

And amongst the hundreds, NAY Thousands, of apps out there in the internet-verse there isn’t one (that I’ve found as yet) like it…

THERE IS NOT AN APP FOR THAT!

Yes, I realize that is yelling. I’ll tell you all very broadly that I was driving to the pharmacy for my regular pickup and starting to kind of plan out in my head my fitness goals for, say, the next 100 days or so (FYI: we can already put 10 of those days on the front end as planning days LOL). Was thinking about how to record my baselines so I know where I am starting from…and can check in where I’m at over tie

And it hit me…like a bolt of lightening (incidentally there was also a crack of thunder, but that’s cause I was driving into a thunderstorm).

These are exactly the kind of times when I wish I had the skill set to actually make an app… or an app add-on (does that make sense?) I also wish I knew people in this particular area. I have many many contacts, in many different fields– but I don’t think any of them do app development.

This idea is so good, I’m not even going to put it here because it is most definitely getting tucked away until I can do some research.

Lots that I want to say today, but don’t know that I will get to it. I went on a trip this past week and I have yet to actually unpack the mess.

Also gotta work on the Bee Mill. Things keep disappearing. It could be my ADHD…

But just so I feel a bit better about things lets just say that there may be a resident fairy..or maybe a gnome? LOL.
Til we meet again!


P.S.

Okay, lets face it–today might be a double post day–mainly because of aforementioned ADHD combined with my procrastination superpower.

Issa LorenLeave a comment

Look at that… Twice in a day

Yep. Look at me.

On a roll with this posting thing!

Anyway, I will be resuming my fitness quest…

But, wait.

Do you see what I did right there? I was extremely declarative.

BUUUUT–

You will all come to find out that when it comes to fitness–I am very much a stuttering Nelly. To be honest, it is not something I ever really had to worry about in the past, but with the shutdowns of 2020 and the general aging that has been going on, I find that I can’t maintain myself the same way I had been used to doing in the past. This has made it difficult to pursue or set aside specifically a time for “working out” or exercising. I find it boring and repetitive. I feel like after all the work I don’t have anything tangible at the end of it. Alas, in spite of that, I now (in the interest of my health) have to start incorporating it.

There were some issues as far as doctors wanting to switch up my meds that results in some nasty nasty side-effects. I was only on it for maybe three weeks (barely got that far) and was most definitely past the first phase of the step-up and it took me a full SIX months to get somewhat back to normal. My hair is growing back out (I lost about 50% hair density), the med weight is mostly gone, I still deal with some tinnitus.

The worst thing for my mental well-being, however, was that I completely lost my muscle-tone. As in I am soft and smushy right now and I don’t like it. It’s not even that my weight has changed, because it hasn’t. My body shape and the way my clothes (don’t) fit are completely different. Anyway, this post is to sort of bookmark that aspect. I guess branching off of that I’ll (at some point) get into my particular medical issues. It can all go under Health and Wellness. So for today, that’s the start of another category.

Hope the morning has been good to all of you.